bITS 'N CHUNKS
Well shipmates, it finally happened. I released my own chapbook.
I've been putting myself out there for ages doing editorial and fictional work, and I kept saying The Book was coming... and coming... and coming...
(It didn't come for about 10 years)
I've said previously I'm not as in love with the idea of the novel as many writers you know are, but make no mistake that putting together a coherent collection of smaller stories isn't THAT much easier. You, as the critic of You, is quite the... existential experience.
The journey was long, hard, a little weird, and had some windy twists like an Oasis feud, but ultimately I'm glad it's out. It's not really the need to see myself in print. It really is the fundamental need to share. I share my thoughts and stories here on this blog and elsewhere and that's just what I like to do. This was also the ultimate task for me in terms of patience and forcing myself to completion of a process rather than give up half way.
I've already detailed the depressing minutiae so I won't share that with y'all again (and especially if you don't follow my social media). Today, the arbitrary release date, we're just gonna celebrate.
So, what have we got here? 3 stories that go from comedic to cosmic horror real fast and sometimes within the same space. One I've posted here previously & was actually previously published, but extensively re-written (plus, that site is dead so it's o-kay). The other two were trial and error just kicking around. And yes, there is at least one wrestling reference because... it's me.
Click thru below, pay what you feel is right. 18+ thanks to descriptions of gore and violence, and sexual content. Welcome to the real me.
(Feels good to be back.)
Alternatively, click me if that button isn't visible!
Welcome to the end of February just about. Things haven't been too popping lately around here, but as we get into the Spring season that will be changing.
FOR NOW, though, two February offerings if your Black History Month has been a lukewarm wet blanket like mine has.
Chatting about Orfeu Negro (Black Orpheus) for Global Comment
Finally, I've come BACK to Salty mag and I'm discussing creating spaces for queer folks of color with a couple of very special guests.
Back to doing the work!
Well shipmates, rather unexpectedly I have a brand new piece of unblemished fiction for you this year!
It's been quite a long time since I've entered the 36th Chamber of fiction publication, as I've bemoaned a few times in the past whilst I try to get my act together. Things are coming along pretty well but there are some things that just never change.
Submitted here for your approval is an anthology submission from last year that ultimately got the axe for length; I don't have any further plans for it as it stands so I'm passing on the savings to you. It's fanfiction so it's a little bit of a cheat in that regard Yes, I have an AO3 account but I'm kind of hiding from that right now. And as a fanfic it automatically warrants a NSFW warning.
The time is upon us once again!
"Fall? Libra season?" you say.
It is HALLOWEEN MONTH motherf!kers!
The time of year when hopefully we can all breathe a little easier and stretch our leathery wings, be free!
I have a lot of events coming up and I'm going to do my best to blog them here and other places that may want them, sometimes even if they don't. And you know I have a bevy of bullshit in the form of intense Halloween film scrutiny coming up as well. I have some "normal" posts to get out of the way, and from there on out we are nothing but Southern Underground Pro, Lucha Underground recaps, and all spooky biz all the time.
In the mean time, did you know I was recently a podcast guest? Catch me talking to my dear friend Raymond Johnson on Sex Out Loud radio (we'll call it radio!) this past Friday (9/22). Join us discussing some recent Twitter drama, Afropunk shenanigans, queer dating, and more! We don't get terribly explicit but there is a little shit talk and swearing so please be forewarned!
Also, can we just rewind to the time when I wrote a retrospective on the Sharknado franchise and it went low key viral lol.
This is really what it looks like when you take shit into your own hands, you know? Check out my (consistently, y'all) updated Body of Work page for more places I'm at when I'm not here, and definitely keep up on social media (twitter: @xenoxands & instagram @neutralcabal). This year, we'll be doing it real big so stay tuned.
Well, it's time to get back in the swing of things.
Look, I don't know where inspiration comes from. 'K? I don't care. As I think I've explained previously, I don't get too sentimental about my writing process. For me personally, I have to just do it. I can't really go hunting for clues because I'll exhaust my brain and quit.
Well, at some point, I had kind of quit.
I hope we all know at this point Alfred Hitchcock was... well, to say problematic skirts the issue of him being fucking terrible. To women, to coworkers, to his actors. He was like Kubrick x 1000 and Kubrick was no slouch. Hitchcock also happens to be my personal guide when it comes to writing and manipulation of fiction, so to say I've mentally canceled him or something isn't true either. Pairing the two is difficult in my mind sometimes. But Hitchcock (and Welles, and Kubrick, and...) was a notoriously difficult and meticulous man and would often fall into bouts of depression when he was done planning production and had to get to the actual directing bit. The directing bit wasn't challenging. I feel that.
I don't ask where inspiration comes from because that's the hard part. Writing, not so much. I've had so little and have been so mentally scattered. So when inspiration cropped up in a potential zine contribution, right or wrong goddamnit I took it and ran with it.
And so, I began to... write. I started on that project, first. Didn't like it, will table that one. But I decided in my head that I would finish a project I had started a while ago. Wasn't a fresh idea but it fit the criteria and, well, I need to finish it.
I went from that project to another in dissatisfaction and awe, and decided I finally had some time to shove a few things off my desk. But how to get back into something you haven't looked at for almost a year? How to recapture the mood? How to get to the ending I've long since forgotten since I live my life on the square and I don't write my endings?
(I really don't write my endings)
I decided on music. I would play a little mood music to recapture the mood. Not the music I was listening to at the time because I really don't remember and I kind of don't care. Just... music. After a while, I found myself listening to or thinking about the same things over and over. I made a quick experimental playlist of what's been getting me through chapters. When I'm ready again, another?
Ia! If you've come this far, you're either looking for weird or you know you've found it...