bITS 'N CHUNKS
I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.
Kierkegaard is discussing the option of marriage in Either/Or; but, you know, in the internet age we like to take quotes out of context. What if you did nothing or everything? What if you denied yourself one thing out of caution for another? What if I stayed home under the threat of a good time with Netflix binging instead of, oh, I don't know, going out?
Surprise, I showed up. Had to find out.
"And you came here?"
For a split second I thought to myself, you're silly. Where else would I be with the migraine that's been shadowing me since Friday night?
(It was Sunday afternoon.)
I spoke to a couple of folks who were also beset with various calamities and we showed up anyway; that sickness is contagious.
A room full of people is so small once you get to know everyone. And this time I had managed to finally, finally browbeat my other wrestling acolyte with me so I spent a good chunk of the afternoon explaining the internal workings of Southern Underground Pro like a Dragonball Z recap (btw, you can watch them anytime yourself here). I don't mind; pretending to inhabit other people's homes is my thing.
To recap & reiterate here, Streets of Hate got a little ambitious and brought back a lot of the grudges that cropped up thanks to Satisfaction... unfortunately, Curt Stallion wasn't cleared to face off against AJ (or maybe he was, that coward, forgive kayfabe) so fortunately for me my birthday gift is going to be hopefully seeing them knock the piss out of each other next time in August in an 'I Quit' match.
Brett Ison also continued to make his way through the Carnies and took out poor Nick Iggy. Brett busted out the suicide dives here (gained I can only assume through destroying an opponent Perfect Cell-style) and I just remember thinking, well shit. Nowhere is safe from this man now. Pack it up. Continues to be my favorite to boo and secretly cheer. But to be fair to Nick he gave Brett quite the fight.
Everything was a win for me but I have to tell you a few of my favorite parts of the night. Kerry Awful being invited to the Scenic City Invitational just felt good. Kerry is such a stalwart of Tennessee wrestling and embodies what it means to be the spirit of a movement. Does everyone on the streets know your name? Maybe, maybe not. But fuck it, you keep pushing forward, you chip in, and dude is relentlessly positive and upbeat and supportive of others I don't really know how/when I'm ever supposed to boo him? I just can't. If he doesn't win everything I quit.
The match between Tripp Cassidy (Carnie #3, everyone) and Allie Kat was such an emotional roller coaster. Unlike her cult favorite matches with the famed Slutty Kat, this one was... serious. It was psychological. I still feel like I watched a latter day David Cronenberg movie, nobody horror but all damage. And then it ends, Tripp wins, and caps it off with a heartwarming, uplifiting message to Allie and she's carried off by Nick and Kerry. Who is crying? Not me. If I'm crying, it's from pain. Losing isn't everything, you know?
Kevin Ku versus Eddy Only was stupid violent and I loved it. Kevin hasn't met a potential death that he hasn't not-disliked and I don't know why he would; Eddy met the challenge and even if he didn't win in the house of Ku, I'm sure we'll never forget him and he didn't exactly go down easy.
I also absolutely love the concept of the open invitational matches with O'Shay Edwards (who is great and really speaks to my soul) and the three-way between him and Cabana Man Dan and Calvin Tank man was way greater than it had to be. There is nothing I love more in life than stiff flip-flop chops.
You're looking at the poster and thinking, sssooo are you ever going to get to the Jeff Cobb main event? Sure he's the biggest name we've had to date, but to me a wrestling card has to stand on its own. I've always hated shows that are just a sludgefest until you get to what you want. It's like seeing Iron Maiden and having to go through 3 garbage opening bands. Give me my fucking money back. But no, everything here was solid and capped off by a very solid main event. It was probably a foregone conclusion that the man rumored to be Matanza was not going to be our next champ but I was surprised at the sheer brutality he took and dished out to Dominic, who still low key scares me. Who is going to dethrone this man?!
After the show, I unhinged my clenched jaw and called it a day. As soon as I got home, I climbed into fresh pajamas, a dark room, and a very low volume television to nurse my pain. Imagine if I hadn't gone out? I probably would have recovered faster. But far greater than suffering at home while Netflix binging is over exuberant cheering and regrettable hype with loved ones. Either or.
Ia! If you've come this far, you're either looking for weird or you know you've found it...