bITS 'N CHUNKS
Looks like the rigor mortis is setting in… Ohh, expecting a Converge embed were you? It was a year ago that I decided I’d gotten a taste of live wrestling shows after retiring from the graps scene in general for a while and I wanted to go to more local shows. A year ago while shaking WrestlingTwitter down for info, I ran across the show card and some YouTube videos via Twitter for some cats called Southern Underground Pro. For a small promotion I recognized quite a few names – Dough Markham? Seen that guy before. Curt Stallion? He’s been on my TV! The Carnies? I probably bagged their groceries! I love these guys! This sounds like a big deal. I was even familiar with Kick Out at Two the podcast and I’d awkwardly spoken to Jesse like… once? I’d be remiss to remember. Ech, a show on a Sunday night at a bar? What side of thirty am I on again? Doesn’t matter; it was raining, I was at an OK place in my life, and it’s close by. In the name of the GOOD TIME, I took the chance on a capricious April night, a year ago. A year ago I started making quarterly appointments between The Cobra and The Basement East and ditching my friends by the wayside any given Sunday.
That being said, wow we’re back again? Pretty sure I just did another one of these a couple months ago. I said I would stop. Nah. Why would I? At S.U.P’s year anniversary things came full circle, feuds concluded, feuds began, keyboards were smashed (again). Even the rain came back to haunt us. Here, have a rundown for context. What a punk show in the best of ways. Despite the usual jolts to cards subject to change, I wish real life ran this smoothly. We had some newcomers which is my favorite part of any indie show. I love seeing people before they hit it big, even if “big” in this case just means achieving a goal. I hope they all come back. For example, the match between Kerry Awful and new gentleman Brickster was very good; the territory of new wrestlers on the scene comes with some cringe sometimes, but it’s good to see someone fully formed and needing experience rather than...I don’t know, whatever you think of when you hear the term “indie wrestling”. I don’t know if his deal is intentionally ‘90s but if it is I am on board. Some more highlights of the night for me were AJ Gray vs O’Shay Edwards in a match so intense it was borderline uncomfortable and of course the unforgettable three-way between Mance Warner, Ethan Page, and tiny fuckdude in the Dollar Tree scarf MJF. Seriously, that match can’t happen anywhere else, it just can’t. Ya fucking missed Eyepoke-mania running wild on everyone. You missed some all-time back and forth. You missed more bodies colliding haphazardly than Showgirls uncut. I hope it translates the same on camera because this match was wild, great fun, and a very encapsulated story. The audience clearly received their collective lives. Job well done by everyone except MJF. But my absolute favorite moment of the night was The Scramble. Scrambles/multi-person matches can be hit or miss. At their very best they are fun and exciting; at worst, just a pit of bodies to clean up at the end of the night. As the ring filled up with participants I thought to myself, “Really? That’s a lot of dudes.” But steel yourselves, my friends, as they made it work. It was amazing fun and storytelling, a clashing cast of characters that couldn’t have possibly work but miraculously did to the most satisfying conclusion I’ve ever seen with my tiny hero Marko Stunt running out of there with the belt. I could not be happier! Hm, what else? We got some new referee shenanigans, increased audience interaction. My downers of the night included Brett Ison pretty much squashing Kerry Awful – where is my retaliation?! – and that damn villainous Dominic taking Curt Stallion out again. Can he still be my favorite if I boo him now? I don’t love it, I just do. Oddly enough, Curt having a complete meltdown on referee Markham and setting up a blood feud with AJ was another highlight of my life. Oh, we got another Slutty Kat vs Body Cat match. Is this going to get old? Probably, but Sunday was certainly not that day. Tidy, neat, and wrapped up. Not asking too much of your time but commanding your attention. The future is uncertain but if nothing else I’m looking forward to the next appointment June 10th and of course my supplemental devotion to Making Towns Classic on May 12th.
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Ia! If you've come this far, you're either looking for weird or you know you've found it... TRESPASSING
September 2018
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