bITS 'N CHUNKS
Once again with the bullshit!
This is another one that I really liked the concept of and I actually like the story overall, I just had no real interest in developing it further or working on it. It was a nice exercise. I was like, "a noir-ish underworld fantasy? Yeah." after most of this flash fiction challenge was full of stories of death and self loathing el oh el. This story is so...pure it just looks weird in comparison.
"God of Admissions"
Detective Kaitou moved a few things around on her desk to look busy as her office sprite opened the door.
"Send 'em in," she said uselessly. The door swung open and the little blue sprite ushered the wan, pale couple inside. Their faces were slick with sweat and their eyes heavy with dark bags from weeks of no sleep. Kaitou had to admit she was taken aback a little.
"How can I help you?"
The green orb swooped in to shuffle through the paperwork on the desk. It used its strength to drag out a slim file bound with large black clips.
The man sat down first and invited his woman to do so a moment later. She appeared so hesitant. Kaitou kept an eye on her.
"Our daughter was kidnapped," the man said. Kaitou nodded and skimmed through the file. Menthe Pleasant, eighteen years old, five-foot-nothing with green eyes, brown hair, of good humor and nature--
"By who?" Kaitou asked. The man bristled.
"If we knew, do you think we'd be here?"
Kaitou jabbed her finger onto the documentation under a single highlighted line. The man leaned in to see.
Menthe was frequently accosted at the temple by Saiduku himself
"We think it was him," he finally conceded.
"You seem pretty damn sure."
"Please," his woman blurted, "please spare us the blasphemy of accusing god of a crime!"
Kaitou closed the file and bound it back up. "Don't worry, I'm an atheist." She smiled. "Besides, he does have a reputation of carting pretty things back off to the land of the living."
Saiduku has a reputation for granting favors and wishes, not for kidnapping out of lust. Kaitou shook her head. That was something the ghost couple weren't trying to hear right now.
Ironically, Saiduku was the most reputable of the three psychopomps -- his brother Meijin was capricious and the oldest brother Koph was prone to fits of jealousy. Now he, Kaitou could imagine swooping off with the pretty dead girl. But why back to the land of the living? Why not ravish her here and be done with it?
Those were the cynical questions Kaitou was tasked with as she created a new file on Miss Menthe. She had been allowed access to diaries and miscellaneous writings, had probed the girl's friends and even some enemies. There was something left on the table, what was her relationship to Saiduku?
Her haikus were beautiful. Kaitou was no art student but she could appreciate a good limerick or a nice charcoal sketch. Menthe wrote like someone extensively trained although teachers said her grades weren't good. She was often heard muttering in despair that she would never get into a good program and have to live at home forever.
Kaitou read over the piece again then flipped it over on her desk. There was…something. She knew the things Saiduku lorded over and his favorite artefacts. But what could he possibly grant to a young ghost looking for some A grades that she never achieved? It was time to find Saiduku, first.
Saiduku, as the youngest brother, was the one most likely to hang around in the lowly hovel of downtown to enjoy himself. Through the grapevine, Kaitou was informed he liked 80s night at one particular club with strong drinks. She camped out for several days in her slinkiest night gown until he appeared one night, covered in gold glitter and showered in adoration.
If he couldn't be a solo god, he was god of this place.
He sat close to her. She slid a hand provocatively up his leg. He gasped, but winked at her and proffered her a tablet with a little smiley face. Kaitou flashed her badge.
"Give me some info and we won't have a problem," Kaitou said firmly. Saiduku quickly deflated and slumped over.
"What's this about?"
Saiduku jolted a bit. "What happened to her?"
"You tell me."
"Sh-she was one of my followers, she came to me because she was failing school," Saiduku stammered. "S-so I fudged her entrance exams…on the surface."
Kaitou raised an eyebrow. "The living?"
"I know I'm not supposed to, but she was never going to get into a school here with those grades. The standards are way too high!"
"Hm." Kaitou sipped her drink. "You'll have to be the one to tell her parents that you kidnapped her to school…willingly."
"Wait! Didn't you know her dad killed her in the first place?"
"I figured as much. So what did you do to get them off the case?"
"I cut her finger a little bit and wrote a ransom note…I don't want any money, please! I just wanted to help."
Kaitou nodded and stood unceremoniously. "Then she'll be dead and gone. I'll find some ectoplasma, they'll cry a bit, we'll all move on. I hope she's doing good up there."
Saiduku popped his own tablet and sniffed. Kaitou left the club, feeling accomplished for a lot of different reasons. Like she always said, the gods were as mixed up and crazy as any of them.
Ia! If you've come this far, you're either looking for weird or you know you've found it...