bITS 'N CHUNKS
Episode 24 of Neon Genesis Evangelion is notable for a lot of controversial and, shall we say, interesting moments. But my absolute favorite has to be Asuka succumbing to her depression and being found in a catatonic state. She can't sync with her eva and she feels useless because so much of her identity is tied into being The Ace of the team (and believe me, in every incarnation she is). She's found in a bathtub, similar to this scene, filled with red tinted water. Period blood? Rust? Slit wrists? Like so much in this show, up to you to decide.
So out of sync with the world around you. Oh my, that's a dark thought. The feeling of levitating off the ground and in some kind of limbo. So much of you is tied into a superficial identity. As I stood calmly answering my phone just for bad news in the cold of a Saturday night, in line for a popular club with a mile long line that I would never get into, I bitterly thought to myself, "This wouldn't happen to me if it was Sunday."
I had no control of my life then. And then Sunday came and I must show you what I've done.
I have very few tips for life but one of them is definitely if you let it, wrestling will do it for you. SUP has a knack of coming in right on time and making me feel like, yeah, I have a little semblance of control out here.
Of course it was a good time. This show has never been particularly light-hearted but with the exception of Slutty Kat boy was this dark. It's odd to see yourself represented in a live show put on by complete strangers with no knowledge of your life circumstances and yet there it was. Betrayals, friendships broken down like decrepit kingdoms of stone, all the uncertainties. Masks slipping left and right. Even the good times and victories just felt hard. Brash. Oh, it was Halloween themed too. Catharsis achieved? Yes. Bitterness exorcised. Great costumes.
New people exposed to me. For example, I've yet to see Mance Warner live and after hearing about him for a while I was very happy to witness his match. I'm always thrilled to see Curt Stallion. Keith Lee David is the type of dude I didn't think they made anymore -- just a damn man mountain. There were some good debuts and interesting features...I won't call it a storyline. That seems a little markish. Let's just say everyone I used to root for has turned to the bad side. Life has a funny way of changing your perspective on people.
The older you get, the more pressure there is to have A Good Time. It becomes less a goal for the weekend and more a rallying cry, a dying mission on the last stage of the game. And if you fail you might as well have failed for the week. Next weekend be damned! And if you succeed, well, the subsequent weekends have to be better and better. Top that, they say. Well, when you start low anything is easy to top. I walked around buying shirts, shaking hands, grinning, talking, generally enjoying myself without question and without permission in a way I haven't done in a while. You don't understand how hard that is until you're free from the invisible code of conduct that comes with having A Good Time. I know people here, they know me, we chat, we don't exchange names but everything is good. Everything was effortless. I didn't have to beg for more or shove off the excess, everything was just right.
What I'm saying is, if I just forked all my therapist money to Southern Underground Pro I wouldn't really notice much of a difference. See you in February.
Ia! If you've come this far, you're either looking for weird or you know you've found it...